June 2004


I am The Cyberwolfe and these are my ramblings. All original content is protected under a Creative Commons license - always ask first.
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Take pleasure in the little things

So, with this new job doing tech support, I realized I will need to be running Windoze most of the time to help me remember where all that stupid stuff is, so I booted XP up today for the first time in several weeks.

After dinking around for a while, I got distracted by something else long enough for the screen saver to come on -the default Windoze logo drifting around the screen.

“This will not do,” I says to myself. Out comes firefox and I do a google search for the Matrix screensaver I used to have. Several versions were found, most of them crippleware.

All in all, I failed to find one that did the normal 2D effect correctly without having some stupid logo showing on the screen, so I removed them all.

In the process of removing them, I noticed several other new entries in the list of programs. Five, to be exact, and all of them malware I did not authorize to install. (I had even read the EULAs that were displayed to me, and nothing of the sort was ever mentioned.)

So, I went ahead and uninstalled them, and one brought up a little feedback form asking me why I was deleting their fine software. I selected “I hate popups” from the drop-down menu. It had another question: “What would have prevented you from uninstalling this software?” I selected “I would have done it no matter what.”

Then, joy of joys, it gave me a text field for “Additional Comments”.

[knuckles cracking]
“In my opinion, malware programmers such as yourself are the lowest form of life on earth, lower even than ambulance-chasing lawyers and used-car salesmen. So low, in fact, that it should not be illegal to kill you. Failing that, it should be okay to rip your balls off with pliers and cauterize the wound with a red-hot poker to ensure that you never breed. If you do have children, they should be removed from your custody immediately before your taint washes off onto them.

At the very least, I take some relief in knowing that you can never walk into the street and proclaim your true profession without being run over by some poor little old lady who has been hounded incessantly by offers to show her how to enhance her penis. You must forever hide yourself from society, pariah that you are. No one enjoys the ‘products’ you create. Entire on-line communities have formed with no other goal than to stamp you out of existence. You, sir, are a bane on society that must be exterminated.”

Ahh. Feeling much better now.

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