So I’m sitting there minding my own business today when Da Roomie texts me, asking if I had seen the bush at the end of the stairs. In his words, it is “Charcoal. An Ex-shrubbery.”
Rewind back to just before Memorial Day, when I cleaned up the side yard area due to a large number of cigarette butts. I had originally thought they were mine from when my ashtray blew over, but they were all Pall Malls, a brand I’ve never smoked.
Fast Forward just a couple weeks after that when I noticed our neighbor toss a lit butt into that same area. I tried to catch him, but he slipped inside before I could get out. A couple of days later, I did manage to catch him outside and just about ready to toss a but, and told him not to.
This is the weird part – while I was speaking at him, he deliberately stood behind the post of his porch in such a manner that he never made eye contact with me. The post was too small to hide behind, but apparently he felt if he couldn’t see me, then I must not exist.
Okay, now we’re back to today. I run back home and grab my camera, and find that my bush has indeed burned to cinders, more than likely caused by a lit cigarette butt being thrown into my yard from the AssholeNeighbor.
See the pink stuff to the left? That’s another bush, and that one touches the house. If you look closely at the Burned Bush, you’ll notice that there is white ash on it still.
Now, those of you who know anything about fires will know that if there is white ash on a burned bush or tree limb, that means that it has not been disturbed since it burned – that white stuff falls off pretty easily.
All of this means that AssholeNeighbor is a lucky son of a bitch, because nobody extinguished this fire – it went out on its own before it could ignite the pink bush, which would have burned my fucking house down.
So I went and hammered on their door, but discovered that the asshole in question wasn’t home. The man I did speak to has been there nearly as long as I have, and he and one other tenant have always been cool, so I kept my temper mostly to myself but asked him to have his roomie call me soonest – so I can decide whether I am just going to kick his ass into next week, or if I’m going to have him arrested for Arson.
Some 4 hours later, the neighbor I spoke to called me back to let me know that he still has not seen AHN yet, but that they have had a house meeting and they’re kicking the fucker out. That’s all well and good, but I think this particular brand of stupid needs to be more painful.
Hollerings