Diary of a Wolfeman

Three things happened this weekend that are rather surprising for me:

One, Tolerant managed to talk me into going for a hike through Washington Park and the Japanese Garden.

Two, I specifically remembered to bring (and use) my digital camera.

Three, Tolerant also convinced me to open a Flickr account and post the photos.

I took two pics of Tolerant, but they both came out rather badly. I am apparently no good at photographing people, which I seem to recall from previous cameras. That’s ok, I’ll just stick to still-life. (Or mostly-still life, as there are a couple good pics of the pond koi in there.)

I’m not sure who is to blame between Flickr and Comcast, but it took way too long to upload this set. Further investigation may be required.

A few weeks ago the Old Man called me up and told me he was going to be back in the old hometown for a week camping at a nearby park, and I should grab the kids and come on down. Since Ma and me Brudder are still both in town, and Grampa P is there now too, it seems like this would be an easy way to roll up a quick family reunion of sorts.

A noble idea and all, except for a few small factors. The Ratboy is a busy guy, and he couldn’t make it. Pookie was already scheduled to be camping at the beach with her Mom, so that was out. Third, gas is damn expensive.

And I really wasn’t all that hip on seeing the Old Man.

See, the Old Man has never exactly been what you would think of as a good father. Luckily for me and my brother, he hasn’t been a BAD father, just not a good one. Mostly, he was just indifferent. (I largely blame Grampa C for this, he’s a cold fish and was probably a bad father. every time we saw him for 10 straight years the first words out of his mouth were “when you gonna get a haircut?” But that’s another story.)

Anyway, let me give you some examples of his not-so-bright moments:

When I was 7 and crashed my bike, resulting in internal injuries, it took mom 2 solid hours of nagging before he finally gave in and drove me to the hospital. Another 2 hours and I probably would have died. As it was, I was in hospital for the next two weeks.

When I was 16, I decided it had been a few weeks since I had seen him so I hopped in the car one Saturday and drove to his house, only to discover he was moving and hadn’t bothered to call and tell me.

You get the point. I didn’t really want to drive down to GP to see the man, and i begged off blaming gas prices and whatnot since the kids couldn’t make it… and then he has to open his mouth and say he’ll spot me a C-note for fuel.

Hell and tarnation, now I gotta go. Shit.

Through dint of fast talking (and because she really does love me) the WBGF agreed to come along and meet the whole fam damnily in one fell swoop. Here’s the rundown:

Friday: drove 4 hours to GP on the hottest day of the year. Arrive at the campground and my nephew gives me crap for only having one ear pierced. I magnanimously refrain from explaining to him that when I was his age, a hole in your right ear meant you were gay, hence only the left was pierced. He’s sporting 2 in each lobe and a labret besides. Manage to deal with a bunch of mostly-drunk people I barely remember until we can finally scoot off to my brother’s house for some sleep. Sleep badly due to heat and the sinus infection I had already been fighting all week.

Saturday: Over to Ma’s for a nice chat, when my niece and her boyfriend manage to swing through for a quick visit. I like my niece, she’s a good girl, and it seems she found a decent guy for herself. Ma’s cat monkeyface takes up residency on Tolerant’s lap – I was worried I might not get her back.

We troll around town for food, and eventually settle on Applebee’s just because I can’t for the life of me figure out what else might be good to eat – I haven’t eaten anything other than fast food in GP for 18 years. I’m bummed because the County Fair is in town, but now Saturday is the hottest day of the year (104 degrees) and the hell if I’m standing around in that. We go back to my brother’s to while away a few hours before going back out to the park.

Later that evening we head back out, and it is much quieter now that all the old friends have gone home. The Old Man is also blissfully sober and pushing water to make up for all the alcohol over the past week, and we manage to have a decent visit while watching lightning hit in the next valley over. I’m still glad to get away once 10 o’clock rolls around. Slept badly again – not due to coughing this time, just a strange bed with hot muggy weather.

Sunday: Nice leisurely breakfast, then it starts raining so I decide we should hit the road and outrun the storm. Swung by Ma’s on the way for a quick g’bye, and then blazing trails up the highway.

About average for a family reunion, I suppose. And Tolerant got out of all of her seeing the BF’s family duties for another 5 years :)

It is official: The Ratboy has done flown the coop. He came over this morning to pick up a few last things and clean the room up for his sister to move into. The Pookster and I will be doing a little driving around tomorrow in search of a new bed for her new room, and generally sprucing up the place for a female occupant.

She’s already complaining that she doesn’t have a tv or computer in there. Sheesh!

Just a quick post with a couple of pictures from the last event:

Marten makes a friend

Apparently praying mantis like black with white dots. marten’s little friend perched on his knee for most of 15 minutes.

New candelabra

The new candelabra made by Tolerant’s bro-in-law made its maiden voyage, to much appreciation by all parties. We had a scary moment with it when the wind came up and lifted the tent canvas, allowing the steel plate at the top of the pole to fall out and come crashing down on the candles. Luckily, only one glass candle cup got broken.

Turned out to be a good event, despite the heat and the field burning that nearly smoked us out of the site. (Lebanon, Oregon sucks in the summer. Of course, it probably sucks in the winter too.)

*ring ring*

*ring ring*

“Hello, director Rob Cohen here.”

“Hi Rob, it’s Brendan Frasier. I’m ready to do my scenes.”

“Brendan? We’re here on the set – where the hell are you?”

“I’m at home.”

“Well what the hell are you doing there? We’re ready to shoot, you get your ass down here now!”

“Well, I dunno. You couldn’t get Rachel Weisz to come back as Evie, you got this kid Luke ford doing a bad American accent when he really should have an English one – and he can’t really act anyway. Honestly, the only original cast member that’s even putting any effort into this is John Hannah – and he’s the comic relief. I’m just not feeling it.”

“But! … the fuck?”

“Yeah, that’s pretty much what i thought, Rob. Here, ready to record? Action! ‘Eviiiie! … Alex!! … I hate mummies!!!!!’ …did you get that? Good! I’m going to the beach.”

*click*

“…”

“Well crap. Looks like Isabella Leong and Michelle Yeoh are going to have to carry the movie. It’s not like Jet Li is doing any acting, he’s a CGI effect for three-quarters of the flick. To hell with this directing bullshit, I’m going back to producing. Someone get me a latte.”