November 2005


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Kansas brings America to new low


TOPEKA, Kan. – Risking the kind of nationwide ridicule it faced six years ago, the Kansas Board of Education approved new public-school science standards Tuesday that cast doubt on the theory of evolution.

The 6-4 vote was a victory for “intelligent design” advocates who helped draft the standards. Intelligent design holds that the universe is so complex that it must have been created by a higher power.

John Calvert, a retired attorney who helped found the Intelligent Design Network, said “These changes are not targeted at changing the hearts and minds of the Darwin fundamentalists.”

It takes a fundamentalist to spot another, I suppose.

All of this supposes that the higher power in question, however, was this much of a stickler for details. Think about it – what do most people want the most of in their lives? Simplicity. Not some hugely involved millions-of-layers-deep master plan, they strive to remove the complications from their lives. Now, if said higher power created Man in His / Her image, why aren’t we looking for more complex solutions rather than slimming down?

Seems to me that any being with that much power wouldn’t want to spend several BILLION years in the largest QA session ever. There wouldn’t be thousands of species of insects to carry out the job of plant pollenation, there would be one. There wouldn’t be thousands of breeds of animals constructed for the purpose of keeping those insect populations in check; the insects would simply only breed as necessary.

And what about all the nuisance insects and animals? You want to tell me the mosquito has a divine purpose? The flea? That God really sat down one day and said, “You know, what we really need now are some blood-sucking, disease-mongering petilences. It should be damned annoying when they bite, too.”

Is this the kind of God you want?

Other creatures are fairly easy to explain under ID: the Creator got stoned. Look at the sloth, for instance. A creature that is so sedentary moss grows on it. Then there’s the platypus – obviously, God had some spare parts lying around and just kind of jumbled them up. “Hey, let’s really screw with their minds! I’ll make it a mammal, but it lays eggs! *snorffle* Hey, don’t bogart the bong, man!”

Was God high, or was it Evolution? My bet is for Darwin. You don’t agree, that’s fine – just keep your arguments out of my children’s schools and in the Church where it belongs. When you can come up with an idea that actually satisfies the definition of theory, then you can talk to me.

4 replies to “Kansas brings America to new low”

  1. Robert Douglass Says:

    The divine purpose of the mosquito and flea is the same as all of the evidence that exists for evolution; it is there to test our faith.

  2. BtNG (formerly BtFR) Says:

    Now I know why you came over asking me about movies last night…. BTW, it seems to me that politicians may want to pay more attention to where they want to shove Intelligent Design down a students throat. Otherwise, they might be out of a job…Like a certain Pennsylvania School Board:

  3. BtNG (formerly BtFR) Says:

    BTW, your blog won’t let me put a link in my comment…..How rude

  4. The Cyberwolfe Says:

    Disabling links was the least-painful method of eliminating comment spam. You’re the first one to attampt a legitimate link in the last 6 months.