July 2004


I am The Cyberwolfe and these are my ramblings. All original content is protected under a Creative Commons license - always ask first.
Creative Commons License

A letter

To: The RAT-FUCKING BASTARD that stole my backpack.

When you reached into the backseat of my (unfortunately) unlocked car on East Burnside this last Sunday afternoon, you gained the following list of items:

  • Stansport Backpack with laptop pocket = $60
  • Aluminum forms holder (clipboard), letter size = $25
  • Aluminum forms holder (clipboard), 5″x8″ size = $15
  • CD Wallet, 32-disc capacity = $20
  • Some 20 data CD’s, including my Windows discs (98SE, 2K, XP) a few Linux distributions, some misc. software collections, and a rather eclectic MP3 collection. = No value, they were all copies unsuitable for resale.
  • Some misc. floppy disks. = Same
  • Half a box of my custom business cards. = $10
  • A couple of really good pens and mechanical pencils, with eraser reloads. = $10
  • A spiral notebook with various doodlings and notes. = $3.50
  • A folder containing more of the same. = $0.35
  • A condom. = Neg.
  • An old copy of Maximum PC magazine = Neg
  • My checkbook = $8.00 for new checks.

Total cost of replacement: +/- $150.00

The checkbook may have had some short-term value, but considering I closed the account first thing the next morning and sent notifications to all the national check-verification companies, it is now useless.

So, other than that, what are you going to get for your effort? Aside from probably the best backpack ever built, I’d say roughly bupkus. That’s right, nothing worth having at all, unless you happen to like my music. It’s value to me, however, is somewhat greater than that considering the nature of some of the paperwork inside and the time and money it will take me to replace everything.

So here’s a deal: you give it back to me for a REWARD. No questions asked. Finding me will be pretty simple, considering the box of business cards. Call me anytime.

The Cyberwolfe

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