Diary of a Wolfeman

There have been days in my life where the wierdest things have happened to me or people have said some really odd stuff that just didn’t make any sense at all. Like Welsh Rarebit, for instance: it’s an English food, consisting of a cheese sauce on toast. It’s actually pronounced “rabbit”, and apparently came about because the English upper-class for some reason wanted to be able to eat something called rabbit, but were too snooty to actually eat rabbits – that was peasant food.

Or at least, that’s what BJ told me.

BJ’s wife Kathleen had the ability to somehow know just what kind of useless crap had managed to stuff itself indellibly into my brain. We’re sitting in the living room one night, watching Dustin Hoffman in “Little Big Man” when ‘The Seargent’ comes on screen. Kathleen sees the actor and says “damn, I know that guy from somewhere else…” she looks around the room, locks eyes with me for some reason and says “who the hell is that?” 20-some-odd years of television immediately roll before my eyes, and somehow the answer pops into my head: Gavin McCloud, formerly Capt. Stubing of ‘The Love Boat’.

This was not the only time she (or anyone else) has done this to me.

One of the strangest, however, was an afternoon in late September many years ago, during the conflict in Bosnia. I was sitting in my apartment chatting with a couple of friends – this was the rat-trap studio in Portland. Suddenly Slasher walks in, looks me dead in the eye and asks me if I want to take a job hunting snipers from Bosnian rooftops – the employer will equip me with my choice of gear, and give me a couple of scouts so I could be an anti-sniper sniper.

I shit you not – this kid trekked halfway across Portland to specifically seek me out and give me this job offer. He barely knew me, and had no idea what kind of training I had had, but somehow was convinced that not only did I have the skills for this kind of work, but I would be willing to traipse off to Bosnia for a 6-month stint.

I told him no – it only paid 10 grand.

Let’s see here…

An intermittently bogged-down network at a business client’s has been giving me fits for almost two weeks now. The problem would show up for a few hours, and then go away. Similarly, if we re-booted the router, it would go away. Replacing the router, however, did not fix it. We couldn’t isolate the problem down to any one device – everything checked clean through the diagnostics, we were just getting hammered.

So, we put the original router back in. And it uhm…just works fine now? What the fuck? I put 15 hours into troubleshooting this goddamn thing and it just goes away?!? Argh!!

Near as I can figure, the most likely cause is a hacker. With no commonality of occurance on the inside (I.E., different computers on / off, different days of week / times of day / duration…) there has to be something on the outside.

Looks like it’s time for an intrusion detection system.
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How do you know when you can trust your teenager? When he still asks if he can go to a party, despite being 17, having a cell phone and knowing I will be out most of the night on a date. Of course, he still bitches when I ask all the “who what where when how many adults?” questions, but at least he asked :)
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It is hard to be a morally honest and true employee sometimes – especially when you don’t think you are being paid enough. In my line of work, people often ask you to take care of things for them, and I get hung up on the idea of doing the work for myself or bringing them in as a customer to the shop.

If I bring them in as a customer, it will increase the revenues for the shop, thus allowing my boss to give out raises.

If I do it myself, I get all the money now.

The real hesitation for me comes from the fact that ever since he hired me, the boss has been going on about how our managed services contracts will eventually float the business and get all of us raises. It has been 7 months now, and we have only sold 4 contracts of the 130 we need to get me what I’m worth. On top of that, when work gets slow, he implements mandated un-paid days off.

OK, this has only happened to me once, but it’s his first response anytime we get slow. It’s a stick I’m tired of being beat with.

I think this customer is mine.

So I finally get around to cancelling the never-used land line phone number here at Chez Wolfie Saturday, only to wake up Sunday morning to discover that the T-Mobile network is down hard and bleeding, with no ETA for a repair. Not only is it down, it managed to go down in such a way that the towers are still accepting links, so my phone won’t even switch over to roaming.

Feh.

System was down for about 6 hours that I noticed, and is now back. I had better see a credit.

I don’t know if it was a moon phase or what, but there was something in the air this weekend that set almost everyone around me on edge – but only for seconds at a time.

I first noticed it Friday night, but it was really only affecting me, so I didn’t think much of it – other than apologizing to the Girlfriend for being moderately a prick.

Saturday was mostly ok, except our tv went kerplooie Friday night, and we spent a good chunk of the day pricing replacements. I wrote any bad emotions off to that.

Sunday, however, was a game day and a couple friends came over, so I had a wider sampling to observe. My daughter was her usual manic self, but the reactions she got were a lot stiffer from all but one of the other guys there. (The Physicist is a remarkably good-natured guy. ) Everyone else was having a good time, but the kind where you know that one false move is all it will take for someone to snap.

All in all, it was damn distracting.

CNN.com – World leaders condemn attacks, offer support – Jul 7, 2005

Gerry Adams, leader of Sinn Fein, the political movement linked to the Irish Republican Army: “I condemn the bomb attacks in London this morning. I have sent a message of sympathy and solidarity to Mr. Blair and the London mayor, Ken Livingstone. On behalf of Sinn Fein I offer my sincere condolences to the victims and the families of those killed and injured and to the people of London.”

Now they’ve done it: Al Queda has pissed off the IRA by playing in their yard. I wouldn’t be surprised if the cops start finding gift-wrapped Al Queda bodies on their doorstep.

So, what does your friendly, furry, neighborhood techie-from-hell do on a Saturday? Does he rest easy? Does he lounge about chez Wolfe in a bathrobe? Nope.

He cleans.

Today we tackled the apartment en masse and got a number of things accomplished:

A trip to the Shack netted us the speaker wire needed to finally connect the rear speakers to the living-room media center. After which an hour so so was spent in trying to find the perfect movie scene to test said rear speakers. Considering the number of ‘caper’ flicks in my library, there were copious car-chase scenes to decide between.

Serious hoovering. The kind where you spend 20 minutes getting all the hair out of the hoover prior to using it to make sure you get all the crap out.

Floors have been scrubbed, as have toilets. Eww.

All of the above was also made possible by a trip to the store for supplies.

Why the veritable storm of sudsing? In preparation for the Great Annual Show-Up-If-You-Feel-Like-It Independence Day BBQ, of course.

That’s right, folks, hot dogs, hamburgers, chips dips chains and whips this Monday, including movies for your entertainment. If you want something that isn’t in the above list, bring it yerself. See you here around 2:00.

The Good: Loratadine (the active ingredient in Claritin which makes it non-drowsy) is available generically for $0.40 a dose for the 24-hour size.

The Bad: It’s a bad year for allergies.

The Ugly: I tend to build up a tolerance for Loratidine pretty quickly, and I think I’ve already hit it. The only other medication that clears up my allergies (Benadryl) does so by putting me almost to sleep – to the point where I probably shouldn’t be driving. (Those of you that know my driving skills can attest to how bad this is. I can drive anything, anywhere, under any conditions – except when using Benadryl.)

I just have a wierd body chemistry in general. I am immune to the effects of Codeine, which is a pain in the ass when I have to go to the dentist. The novacaine works fine, but Codeine is the preferred after-care prescription for tooth pain. This means I either take a lot of Ibuprofin, or step up to Vicadin. This again almost knocks me out. Handy at bedtime, but only if I get to bed before 10pm, something that hasn’t happened since I got out of high school.

More Good: I will be getting a raise soon.

More Bad: It won’t take effect until the paycheck after next.

Uglier: I still have to make $39 stretch until next payday. Ok, this isn’t so bad, since that $39 is for gas, milk and bread, but rent comes out of the next paycheck, leaving me only a paltry sum as buffer until the following paycheck. All is not bleak since I budget in all my usual suspects just fine, I just hate having less than $100 as buffer – it means I have to pack a lunch every day, which means I occasionaly eat a lunch that is either warm when it should be cold or vise-versa.

From Frizzen Sparks:

What’s the most interesting thing you set fire to when you were a kid?

Well, what we set fire to isn’t interesting, but the fire was. It was getting on toward the 4th the year I turned 11 I think, when my stepbrother Josh pulled a boner and took one of those “Dancing Flame” fireworks (the ones that spin really fast and burn different colors) and threw it up into the air after he lit the fuse.

Sure enough, the thing took off and flew into the field across the street, landing at the base of a pine tree, immediately setting the wonderfuly dry grass alight. We managed to get a hose on it before it got out of control, but it left a ring of singed grass in a perfect 20-foor diameter circle centered on that tree (which survived).

It looked like a UFO had tried to use the tree as a landing stanchion.

Later that same summer, though, we discovered the joys of lighting those little green army men on fire. If you get them burning on a board and then lift the board, little flaming droplets of plastic drip off and make a really neat noise as they fall.

Yes, this is what kids do for fun when you raise them in the sticks.

I like where my birthday is on the calendar – with it’s proximity to Memorial Day, I have a three-day weekend close enough to throw the party on, and it is the traditional start of the barbecueing season. (of course, it’s not like I need a reason to apply meat to fire…) It was alot cooler when I lived back in Grants Pass though, as they hold a carnival that weekend. What more could a kid ask for on their birthday?

This year’s turnout was a little on the slim side, mostly due to me not sending out invites soon enough. What I lacked in quantity was more than made up for in quality, however. The Roomie and The Physicist are always good company, but The Girlfriend scored major points by providing not only most of the food, but by also gifting me with seriously cool gadgetry: a VHS/DVD player.

This on the surface is cool enough, but reading through the operations manual makes it even cooler. VHS-DVD conversion is almost completely automatic. (The remainder of Greyduck’s MST3K conversion will be simplicity itself.) I can record shows directly to DVD for play in other players (it handles both the ‘+’ and ‘-‘ media) and if I use DVD-RAM disks, it allows the coolest of all: time-shifting of live TV (ala TiVo)!

WooHoo! No more commercials!! The trick here is deciding on whether or not I share with the boys or keep it in my room ;)

Some of the most fun we had though was an impromptu game of Ultimate Frisbee. Five players (ok, 4 and a half with Pookie) and four frisbees, try to keep track of what is flying where. Most surprising is the fact that the shot to the face I took hasn’t left me with a shiner. Lucky for me, us Wolfie-types don’t bruise easily :)

Now to see if I can’t finish off some of those yummy deviled eggs…thanks again, beautiful!

Sorry about the silence around here lately, folks, but there hasn’t been much in the way of personal news, and no groundbreaking developments in the world at large for me to bitch about.

The girlfriend is, as always, the best :)

The rugrats are healthy and happy.

The job is, well, a job – it has it’s highs and lows, but it beats the holy hell out of being unemployed. I am at least doing something I like for the most part.

The car gave me some troubles the other day, but was easily repaired. It decided to blow the coolant hoses. Annoying, but not near as bad as it could have been, and the parts only cost $15. I did discover, however, that my AC unit is toast. :(

On the lighter side of things, your favorite Wolfie is turning 33 at the end of this month…

Me? Greedy? Never! Read the rest of this entry »