Diary of a Wolfeman

*ring ring*

*ring ring*

“Hello, director Rob Cohen here.”

“Hi Rob, it’s Brendan Frasier. I’m ready to do my scenes.”

“Brendan? We’re here on the set – where the hell are you?”

“I’m at home.”

“Well what the hell are you doing there? We’re ready to shoot, you get your ass down here now!”

“Well, I dunno. You couldn’t get Rachel Weisz to come back as Evie, you got this kid Luke ford doing a bad American accent when he really should have an English one – and he can’t really act anyway. Honestly, the only original cast member that’s even putting any effort into this is John Hannah – and he’s the comic relief. I’m just not feeling it.”

“But! … the fuck?”

“Yeah, that’s pretty much what i thought, Rob. Here, ready to record? Action! ‘Eviiiie! … Alex!! … I hate mummies!!!!!’ …did you get that? Good! I’m going to the beach.”

*click*

“…”

“Well crap. Looks like Isabella Leong and Michelle Yeoh are going to have to carry the movie. It’s not like Jet Li is doing any acting, he’s a CGI effect for three-quarters of the flick. To hell with this directing bullshit, I’m going back to producing. Someone get me a latte.”