Diary of a Wolfeman

Shit just seems to piss me off a little more easily nowdays, but I think I have my reasons.

I admit it: I am a dirty smoker. I understand, however, that most folks around me are not smokers, and adjust my habits accordingly. I only smoke outside the house and the office, and I go someplace where it won’t bother others. Yet I get the stink-eye from people who drive gas-guzzling SUV’s bitching about the secondhand smoke I am making sure they are upwind of – and their completely unnecessary Urban Assault Vehicle produces twice the carcinogens as I do and drinks petrol at twice the rate my car does. Fuck off.

I understand that Portland is supposed to be a pedestrian- and bicycle-friendly town, but since when does that mean that jaywalkers get to glare and cuss at me for (heaven forbid!) actually wanting to go on a green light? Listen, fuckwad – if I still had my ugly old Plymouth, you would be a wet smear beneath my tires by now. Get the fuck out of my road.

The bicyclists are getting to be the worst though – I can’t tell you how many times I have seen some asshat peddle through a red light and nearly get creamed – then have the gall to yell at the driver who just saved his life by not hitting him. Excuse me? Where is it written that only cars have to follow the rules of the road? As far as I am concerned, that cyclist should be on his fucking knees apologizing to the driver for nearly inflicting an accidental death on the motorist’s conscience.

Bah!