Diary of a Wolfeman

Oh, we had some great fun in the office the other day. A couple of Microsoft reps came through the office to talk to us about Sharepoint and a push for a security seminar. We’re a Gold Partner, so this isn’t a rare occasion.

One of the first things they want to talk about though, is whether we are ready and have all the tools we need to push Vista and Office 2007 upon our loyal customers.

You could just smell the desperation dripping off these guys.

Word has come down from on high that every rep needs to pimp Vista and Office 2007 for all they are worth, and these guys have heard a few too many pep talks.

We all looked around the room at each other for a moment, shrugged, looked back at the speaker and said, “Nope.”

It took a few minutes for them to realize that “Nope” also meant we had no plans for pimping Vista for a while yet. Then came the hard question: “Well, why not?” with a huge undertone of ‘You guys are Gold Partners, you should be singing in the choir!’ and, ‘Ye Gods, I don’t want to hear this again!’

The answer: “Because we can only name one software package that is Vista-ready – and that’s Office 2007.

Because there are tales of potential volume-licensing nightmares in the air.

Because the 5 different versions of Vista are a nightmare to decipher, and it looks like the one our customers will need (not want, need) is the most expensive version.

Because we’re afraid if we do install it anywhere as an upgrade to existing hardware, that computer will be just two failed components away from needing a new license – if the existing hardware can even run it.

Because of this, any roll-out would have to be on new hardware, and that hardware is going to be expensive to get the bonus features enabled – now you’re talking tens of thousands of dollars just to get a new OS.”

So no, we’re not pushing Vista yet.

You should all know by now how much contempt I hold in my heart for Microsoft and all the things they have shoved up our collective ass for the past 10 years. I can tell you truthfully, it could be worse:

You could be studying to take a Microsoft Exam.

So here I have been spending a large amount of my time over the past few years learning how to secure a computing environment due to the vast plethora of security holes in MS operating systems. Then my Boss and I get the great idea of me becoming the Company’s Security Advisor, so I start delving even deeper into the mysteries of Hackerdom to better defeat the buggers when they come a-knockin’.

Then comes the discount exam voucher for SBS2003, which would be a useful thing to have. The exam itself shouldn’t be too hard, because it only covers one (albeit amalgamated) product – except for one little caveat:

It’s a MS exam, so therefore ALL of the answers will be geared toward a “MS is the BEST!” mindset. And those bastards have rigged trick questions into the exam.

“Whadya mean ‘trick’ Wolfe?” Well my son, it means that each question’s answer will be tailored to the MS universe, but they will occasionally give a multiple-choice answer that may include an actual best practice from the real world – which is wrong, because MS is the BEST and therefore anything involving a real-world answer is the trick question.

Case in point: how much RAM would you need in a server designed to handle up to 75 users? Real-World answer: minimum of 2GB. MS Answer: SBS 2003 requires a minimum of 256MB RAM, we recommend 384MB.

Can I install SBS 2003 on this little-ol’ Pentium III I found in the closet? Real-World Answer: No, dude, we need to chuck that puppy and get you some decent hardware. Xeon or Opteron at least. MS Answer: why yes, as long as it’s 300MHz, but 550MHz would be better.

How should I secure my network? Real-World Answer: well, we need to install a DPI firewall device on your internet connection. MS Answer: No problem – we’ll just turn your server here, the lifeblood of your company, into a NAT firewall, so it can inspect all traffic and filter out all of the attacks.

Are you out of your freaking mind?!? “No sir, you don’t need a fence, this here rooster that manages all yer hens is plenty tough enough to fend off that there coyote when he comes a-trottin’ into yer henhouse.”

This is going to give me a headache.

Oi.

Up early this morning to take Pookie to the dentist – the poor rugrat inherited my teeth, and they are rotting out of her head bad enough that we have to patch up her baby molars. On top of that, she smacked her face on the monkey bars last week and chipped one of her brand-new front teeth, so we had it capped. As soon as all of her permanent teeth come in, we’re getting those suckers sealed.

Back to the ranch for a quick lunch and to let her mouth regain feeling, and then off to the Fortress of Consumerism for a birthday party at the ice rink. 10 kids for three hours. Whew!

Then back to the ranch again so I could wash dishes and cook dinner, eat said dinner, and goof a bit with the rugrat. Which turned into us watching several episodes of “Mythbusters”, fine family entertainment indeed :)

I should probably get some sleep now..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I can now say “Merry Christmas!”

No, this is not in response to some local stupidity involving the PC-ness of the phrase, it’s because I have been to the yearly Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert.

They came to Portland last Thursday, and it was just as good as in years previous, despite some notable changes in the line-up. Jill Gioia wasn’t with them this year due to her own projects, and there were a couple other changes.

Most noticeable was Jill’s replacement Steve Broderick – a talented individual, but it was weird hearing Jill’s numbers from a male voice.

Tickling, mashing and all-around wringing of the ivories was accomplished by another new addition – Derek Wieland. (He replaced Jane Mangini’s former sparring partner.) A Juliard-Master’s of Music-holding virtuoso who has performed for heads of State and nobility, playing against a gal who, in Al Pitrelli’s own words, “has played for every drunk in North America.” And I can’t decide which of them is better. I lean toward Jane, because (from what I’ve heard so far) she has a better grip on Jazz and the Blues. Sometimes a higher education doesn’t teach you everything. It’s a close race.

The Best Parts:
-A story that makes me cry every year, and I don’t feel embarrassed because 9000 other people are crying too.
-A light show that gets bigger and better every year. The entire light rig moves and re-configures itself through different parts of the show, and Al takes a childlike glee in showing it off :) He gives a shout out to the 65-man crew that runs the thing, and then says “You want to see what happens when those 65 guys set off all this stuff at once? Watch this!” With a cackle, and then they launch into the finale.
–The Carmina Burana live, with fire-laden stage show. Arguably one of the most powerful pieces of music ever written.

The Bummer Parts:
-No Jill :(
-They introduced Kristin Gorman as their “Queen of the Winter Night” but didn’t let her sing the song. The live version is ten times better than any recorded release, because then you get to see her stalking about the stage and throwing that pitch-perfect voice around like a guitar.
-They still haven’t released a recording of the Carmina!!

Small bummers aside, this is still one of the only concerts I am willing to spend money on. I don’t dig on huge crowds, it hurts my knees to sit in cramped arena seats for almost three hours, and I’m half-deaf for a day afterward. But DAMN these people rock!!

If you have never seen this production, you must get tickets next year.

Man, yesterday just ended up sucking for me.

Ranting to follow.
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Tolerant reminded me the other day just how out of touch with my local surroundings I can get. When I wasn’t looking, the City of Portland made a deal with a California company called MetroFi to “unwire” Portland – free municipal Wireless Internet Access.

Of course, now that I am looking for it, the news is all over the place. Funny how I didn’t notice it.

In any case, the great Wire-cutting Ceremony will be taking place at 11:30am Tuesday Dec 5th in Pioneer Courthouse Square.

Of course, the initial roll-out will just be downtown and limited additional areas, but the plan is to eventually cover the whole city. Looking at MetroFi’s site map, you can see they have quite a bit of infrastructure in the works. I’m not sure if the map is current, but I have seen a number of the white cone-shaped antennas mounted on traffic signals in the area, including around Lloyd Center.

As with anything “free” on the Internet, patrons of the wifi service will be subjected to ad banners while they surf. Hopefully, they won’t be too obtrusive. Others have speculated that this will be the end of the Personal Telco Project, but I don’t see that as being the case. The PTP is a partnership promoting truly free wireless, and is not a commercial organization.

So, those of you in the area of the first rollout, rejoice! And let me know how it all works out.

So, we’re about halfway through the weekly meeting at the office this morning when I realize that I’m sweating. Not a normal occurrence in our place, which tends to run about 4 degrees colder than I like. So I lean over to the Roomie and ask him “is it hot in here, or is it just me?” “I’m the wrong guy to ask,” he says – because he is almost shivering.

Turns out the both of us were feverish to some extent. Being the prudent folks we are, we bailed for home.

While home and being basically useless, I happened to be randomly websurfing and came across something I wrote a couple years ago on someone else’s blog – and it reminded me that I used to actually write interesting stuff.

Amazement.

I should probably do that again.

A similar point was made in an outta-da-blue email I got from an old girlfriend who tripped across this here blog a few months ago. She remembered that she used to like me. Unfortunately, I then ruined everything by apologizing for being the idiot I was and I haven’t heard from her since. I have a fairly poor track record for renewing old friendships it appears.

Or maybe it is only old friendships with old girlfriends – I managed to track down one of the ones that got away once, and she stopped writing after a couple volleys too. There was a small bit of unrequited love there though, and she being married and all now may have had something to do with the sudden disappearance.

Who knows. Maybe it all just boils down to the old adage: You Can’t Go Home Again. Both the women mentioned are married with kids and lives now, and a quick trip down memory lane is often spoilt once you remember how much things have changed. My recent trip to the hometown is ample proof of that. Yes, things have changed there, but what is there now still sucks more than the pleasant memories can make up for. I hated it while I was there, and it hasn’t changed that much.

Of course, I didn’t realize how much I hated it until I was gone. It took a very short time in another city for me to become completely intolerant of the people in that sad little burg. Even Ashland was better, despite being a little smaller. Honestly, had there been any sort of job market there, Ashland would probably be home to me now.

Even the Ratboy, who used to think moving to NYC would be a good thing to do after high school has said to me that “Portland just feels like home to me now. Every time I leave, I can’t wait to get back.”

Much like this entry, sometimes you it’s bad to think about how you got here. (Because then you lose the whole thread of your thoughts.)

Yeah. Stop mashing keys now.

The concept is quite intriguing: a book imagined by Robert Heinlein and written years after his death from the original notes by Spider Robinson, arguably RH’s spiritual successor in the halls of Sci-Fi-dom.

It is a good book, an enjoyable read – I had to ration myself for fear of finishing it too quickly. The characterization is there, the plot is solid, the dialog is well written and carries well throughout the book. All the earmarks of a bestseller.

Then why am I disappointed?

Very simply: Spider has written this book before.

Okay, I’ll cut the guy a little slack. Having written some 32 or so previous books, one can expect that certain things will carry forward from previous books. I was just bummed that so many things carried forward in this one.

The main character has many similarities with Jake Stonebender of the Calahan’s series – and Jake is an extension of Spider himself. The plot is very reminiscent of Starseed if you look at the broad picture. Zen Buddhism plays a big part, as in most of Spider’s work. When it gets right down to it, the only things that are missing from the Robinson canon of plot elements is a mention of “Running, Jumping, Standing Still” and a sexy fat chick.

It was a very good book – but I kept getting the feeling that I had read it before. C’mon Spider, let’s see something new.

Something I should probably do more of.

Thanksgiving trip, in small doses:

Took waaay too long to get out of town – 1 hour to drive 15 miles. Rain slowed me down more, so it took me from 6:30pm to 1:00am to get to Grants Pass. That’s 6 1/2 hours for a 4-hour trip. (Okay, there was a meal stop and a gas stop, but still.)

It was good to see the family – wish I could have done more of it. My mom’s house reeks of smoke (even to a longtime smoker like myself – enough to be sickening) so I spent as little time there as I could. My brother and his wife opted to spend all of Friday night at the local bar, which would have meant me leaving Pookie in the care of a couple teenage boys had I opted to join them and all of their friends, with whom I have nothing in common. (Quite honestly, most of them are the kind of people I left GP to get away from.) Oh joy.

So, I spent all of Friday night watching TV and playing games on the laptop. If Pookie wasn’t having so much fun playing with her youngest cousin, I would have packed and left.

The drive Saturday was much better – mostly clear weather and traffic was fairly light until Salem. Unfortunately, after Salem everyone forgot the whole idea of “the left lane is for passing” and piled up there. I was able to zig my way through two whole packs of cars by dodging in-and-out of the slow lane. Fucking tards.

So, I spent about $100 in gas and food and 11 hours driving with attendant aggravation to spend about (in total) 12 hours with my family.

No wonder it’s been three years since I went back.

Tolerant, in her infinite sweetness,took me, The Pookster and her niece out to see Happy Feet, the animated adventure of a dancing Emperor penguin.

This is a good movie, and those of you with kids should take them to see it. The family will have a good time, and it is worth the money to see it on a big screen with good sound, as there is copious singing.

There is also a thick handful of social commentary, as any good fable should have. The worst part, however, has to be Nicole Kidman’s voice. A sad case of casting there.

Spoilers follow.

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