Diary of a Wolfeman

I have been spoiled.

For a number of years, we have lived in reasonable Sunday-morning driving distance from what I believe to be the Best Breakfast In Town: The Blue Moon Diner over on TV Highway. They serve, in my estimation, the best Eggs Benedict it has been my pleasure to regularly enjoy.

My introduction to Eggs Benny came in Las Vegas in the mid-90’s, when the boss decided to take us all out for breakfast one day at the Rio, a trendy casino well-known for their restaurants. I had been wanting to try it for years, but it’s one of those things that I wasn’t sure enough to spend money on, and ‘Benny ain’t the cheapest of breakfasts. When the Boss is footing the bill, however, is a perfect time to get adventurous. I was immediately hooked.

Much like our old “Pubcrawl” series judged taverns on their Fish & Chips offerings, I have been mentally ranking brunch houses for their Eggs Benedict proficiency. Since moving way out East, it’s too long of a drive on grocery-day to trudge all the way back to the Blue Moon, so I’ve been looking for an alternative.

The results have been an example of every single way of doing it wrong, unfortunately. I admit, this is a hard dish to get consistent and correct, but what I’ve been seeing out here are a lot of shortcuts that definitely adversely affect the end result. Here are a few brief reviews. I’ll name names, but won’t be linking them.

I will also state right out that I am being a picky bitch here – none of these examples were so bad as for me to send them back to the chef or raise a fuss, they just weren’t as good as they could have been. The cooks involved are undoubtedly perfectly adept at their trade for other menu options, but Benedict is a bitch.

Elmer’s at 205
They get points for consistency – the dish is assembled well with a couple minor quibbles about the hash browns (the shreds are too wide, it’s a weird consistency), but the ambiance kills the mood. The restaurant is loud, generally packed, and as such the staff are impersonal at best because they’re just that busy and don’t have time for chit-chat. Seems like a lousy reason to rate their Benedict down, but I can’t enjoy eating anything there during a rush time.

Pig-n-Pancake on Glisan
This was a surprise, because I’ve been to a number of their other locations, and the Pig is usually a solid choice. This particular location has the detriment of it’s location – unfortunately, Glisan and 122nd is just not a nice neighborhood, and in this decade getting anyone to really give a damn about their workplace is a stretch, so it’s a bit run-down and the clientele are generally folks just trying to get out of the cold with a cup of coffee.

At the time it may have been a case of supply-chain issues, but they chose to use thin-sliced deli ham, and not enough of it at that. Combined with a watery sauce, it was just sad, and a mostly-accurate reflection of the restaurant.

Gateway Breakfast House
Considering how much business this one gets, I expected better. I’ve been there 4 times I think, and only had a good serving on the first try when we took advantage of having a weekday off and arrived after the initial wave’s hubbub. Subsequent visits have all had the problem of the eggs being overcooked with fully-set yolks. A proper ‘Benny has runny eggs, and it ends up being a little too dry without that.

If you like German sausage and eggs, however, this place is the bomb.

Tik Tok Restaurant and Bar
OK, I knew this would be going out on a limb because it’s very much a bar first and restaurant second, but we gave it a shot. (I mean, we went to My Father’s Place for years and never had a bad meal…) This was not the best of ideas: too many TVs, sketchy waitress, and while everything tasted basically correct, every single part of the assembled meal was just…wrong somehow. The sauce was lumpy, the eggs overdone, the muffin raw, and the ham was almost burned if memory serves.

Sweet Betty’s Bistro
I was immediately put off by the host – I was not expecting some skinny dude in a hoodie and baseball cap to be the doorman. This is another example of a spot trying to be both a restaurant and a bar, and it doesn’t quite work – the decor is sunny eclectic, but the staff are dive-bar chic. The Benedict, once again, was served on a raw English muffin with an overcooked egg.

Tom’s Restaurant (aka Tom’s Bar)
I really hate to say anything bad about this one, because the picture up above is from Tom’s, and daaaang, that is a perfect plate! The hash is a smaller portion than they normally serve (which is great, the usual is too big and comes out underdone), the construction of the two halves are complementary to each other (check the ham placement), and that nice little sprig of parsley. The only thing missing is a sprinkle of paprika for color contrast. I am, however, going to cut them huge slack because this isn’t a normal menu item, it’s a special that crops up every few weeks when the chef is feeling artsy.

Unfortunately, this has also led to it being less-than-perfect: another case of overcooked egg on under-toasted muffin. (Actually, I’m not sure on the level of toasting, it may have just been a really stiff sourdough.) The sauce was very good – just a little too much pepper for my taste, but don’t hold that against them, I’m a lightweight in the spicy department.

So what makes a perfect Benedict?

From the plate upwards, you start with a sourdough English muffin, toasted. It tastes better, and if everything else works right there’s a lot of liquid involved, and an un-toasted muffin turns to mush. You can butter the muffin if you feel the need, but it’s generally gilding the lilly at that point.

For the protein, it just needs to be something with enough strength to hold up everything above it while you carve off a bite with fork and knife. I personally prefer a slab o’ ham, but the traditional Canadian Bacon is an excellent choice, and our friends with dietary restrictions can substitute some salmon if they like.

The eggs should be poached just long enough to set the whites and warm the yolks. Many recipes will tell you that you can prepare the eggs ahead of time and then just heat them up in the morning, but if you want to go this route then you will want an ice bath next to the stove to dunk the eggs as soon as you pull them from the poaching pot to stop the cooking process.

Top all of the above with a nice creamy Hollandaise sauce, enough to thoroughly cover the egg and most of the ham, but it doesn’t need to drip all the way down to the plate (unless you don’t like runny eggs, in which case, you do you). I like the way it looks when you sprinkle some paprika on top, but this isn’t necessary. Tasty, but not necessary. A sprinkle of chives or a sprig of parsley can also be a nice touch.

Now break that egg open and watch the deliciousness roll down the stack. Carve off a forkful of everything, swirl it around a bit to gather up sauce and yolk, and enjoy!

This entry was posted on Monday, March 17th, 2025 at 8:52 pm and is filed under Life, Reviews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.