Diary of a Wolfeman

Okay, I gotta ask: just what the fuck is up with the pedestrians in Downtown lately?

Today, I had to stop and wait for a footie to clear the crosswalk on my green at 5 consecutive stop signals. And not just a few seconds as they made the last couple steps, either – these tards were barely halfway across when the green tripped. Worse than that, the last one was a dude in an electric wheelchair!

You’re thinking “Oh, cut the guy some slack!” but no – he was rolling fast enough that I would have been running to keep up with him, and I was halfway into the intersection when he blazed up from my left. I was in the far right lane!

What really pisses me off is how they don’t even look at the cars stopped at the intersection – they just stroll along like we’re not even there, with that whole “I’m walking and not polluting the air, so you can just wait for me” attitude. Well, listen up, treehugger: I AM polluting the air with my car, and you making me wait is dragging it out even longer. You want to save the planet? Then get the fuck out of my way so I can stop burning fuel at idle.

Look, folks, let’s get something straight. When the crosswalk signal shows the white “man walking” icon, go ahead and cross.

When the red “Halt” hand starts to flash, it means you need to clear the crosswalk. Those already crossing should step right along, those who have not begun should stay put.

When that red hand turns solid, it means “stay the fuck out of the street”.

When the light in front of me turns green, I WILL GO. If you are in front of me, don’t give me that pissy glare and amble on across, I want you to jackrabbit those last three steps.

In ‘Vegas, (and it’s one of the few things I miss) the law states “the pedestrian does not have the right of way when the walk signal has turned red.” That’s right. If you are out of the crosswalk or crossing against the light, and you get run down, the law thinks it was your own damn fault.

Mind you, they also gave the footies about 30 seconds more walk signal because they knew the corners are crowded. So they were nice about it.

Me, I had my own way of helping them hurry up. I’d plant my left foot on the brake and my right foot on the gas. When a 6000-pound land-based aircraft carrier like my old Plymouth lurches at you with the front end twisting from the motor’s torque and the 400″ engine growling, you get the fuck out of the way. When the above happens and you look in the windshield to see me grinning in that “mmmm…rOaDKiLL!!” way, you teleport, leaving nothing behind but the faint whiff of ammonia as you piss your pants.

I swear my next car is going to have a great big cow catcher on the front with salt and pepper shakers attached to it for easy seasoning.

Our company, being as IT-related as we are, has decided to migrate our Exchange 2003 system up to Exchange 2007 so we know what do to when our clients ask for it. Here’s how to do it:

1) Buy new server. You cannot upgrade an existing E2003 server.
2) Install OS of choice – in this case, Server 2003 Enterprise Edition 64-bit
3) Install all updates, antivirus, etc.
4) Print and read the 15-or-so pages from Technet describing the install process.
5) Read them again, damn thing is still updating.
End of Day 1
6) Join new server to domain.
7) Run dcpromo to convert to backup domain controller.
8) Watch dcpromo fail because you have to run adprep from the S2003 Ent-64 cd first.
9) Watch adprep fail because you have to run it on the Server 2003 domain controller.
10) Run adprep on the other DC…ok, it worked that time.
11) Run dcpromo on new server. Again, it worked this time.
12) Read the docs again, discuss with more experienced engineer – who doesn’t recognize any of the new terminology M$ is using either.
13) Curse M$ for the bastards they are.
14) Slot the Exchange 2007 DVD and run the installer.
15) Blow past the first three meaningless EULA screens and get to the actual install screen.
16) Steps 1-3 are to prep the server for Exchange. Step 1: install .Net 2.0. Click on Install, it bounces open IE to a download page. They had over 4Gigs worth of space on that DVD and they couldn’t include the .Net2 runtimes?
17) Download and install .Net
18) Step 2 is to install MMC – already done. Moving right along.
19) Step 3: Install PowerShell. Again, it bounces me to a download screen.
20) Download and install PowerShell.
21) Step 4: Install Exchange! Woohoo, here we go!
22) Watch installer launch the tester to see if you are ready for E2007. Watch tester throw big red X’s. Read and discover that I need to update .Net and install IIS because I forgot it. Read further about the pre-install Exchange Server Best Practice Analyzer that would have told me all of these things and possibly more – that was not mentioned in any of the docs I already read.
23) Update .Net
24) Install IIS.
25) Google search for the Analyzer and download. Double-click to install.
26) Watch as install fails: I need .Net 1.1?!!?
27) Download .Net 1.1
28) Curse M$ for the Bastards they are.
29) install .Net 1.1 – watch installer throw warning that the 64-bit version of the OS has a known issue with .Net 1.1 and I will have to type a really long command into a command shell after I install it. Save info to text file because you know that shit won’t be at the end of the install where it really should be.
End of Day 2. Read the rest of this entry »