-Or-
\nParts of a Play That Has Never Been Written<\/p>\n
My buddy BJ back in ‘Vegas was into theater – the tech and production side, not the acting. We would sit and laugh over tales he had from the shows he helped run, and we got the idea to do a sort of “Noises-Off-Knock-Off”, a bunch of behind-the-scenes scenes. The only problem was we couldn’t figure out how to string them together. Tolerant just gave me the idea that each scene is from a different play in a community theater that will put on just about anything. Here’s a sample:<\/p>\n
STAGETECH is stage left, heaving on a rope that goes up to the ceiling.
\nDIRECTOR and PRODUCER are stage right, loudly arguing about a piece of scenery. They call STAGETECH over to get his opinion. ST is busy, but sees they won’t be put off. <\/p>\n
ST: Frowns, looks around, spots FEMALE STAGEHAND, visually sizes her up.
\nST: “You! C’mere for a minute!”
\nFSH: Looks up, drops what she is doing and walks over.
\nST: “Hold this.” Hands rope to FSH, turns and walks towards DIR and PRO
\nFSH: “Ack!” as she rises slowly to the ceiling. ALL turn to watch.
\nST: Looks at FSH, looks down at his paunch. “Damn! I gotta lay off the doughnuts!”<\/p>\n
——————-<\/p>\n
Stage left: two ACTORS and STAGETECH are working out a fight scene.
\nStage Right: DIRECTOR and ACTORS are arguing over dialogue. Horrid Brooklyn accents abound.
\nST pushes ACTOR1 aside and takes his place to better demonstrate how to throw a believable punch, goes through routine slowly with ACTOR2 a few times.
\nST: “Okay, let’s try it again at full speed.” ST and A2 begin routine, it looks pretty good. DIR and ACTORS get a little louder.
\nAbout halfway through fight routine, ST clocks A2 loudly across the jaw, A2 goes down in a heap. Silence on stage, then ACTORS rush over to check on A2.
\nST: “I said dodge LEFT you twit!” Throws hands in air and exits.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"